Tell me what you think of this, I wrote it.?
It is for a story, tell me what you think of it- Of Alexandra VII's three children, the youngest, Roger Ramius Sergei Alexander Chiang MacClintok- known variously to political writers of his own time as "Roger the Terrible," "Roger the Mad," "the Tyrant," The Restorer," and even "The Kin-Slayer"- did not begin his career as the most promising material the famed MacClintock Dynasty had ever produced. Alexandra's child by Lazar Fillip, the sixth Ear of New Madrid, whom she never marreid, the then-Prince Roger was widely regarded prior to the Adoula Coup as an overly handsome, self-centered, clothes-consious fop. It was widely known within court circles that his mother nursed serious reservations about his reliability and was actively disappointed by his indolent, self-centered neglect of those duties and responsibilites which attached to his position as Heir Tertiary to the Throne of Man. Less widely known, althouugh scarcely secret, was her lingering distrust of his loyalty. As such, it was perhaps not unreasonable, when the "Playboy Prince" and his bodyguard (Bravo Company, Bronze Battalion, of the Empress' Own Regiment) disappearned enroute to a routine flag-showing ceremony only motnhs before an attack upon the Imperial Palace, that suspicion should turn to him.
Books & Authors - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
i'm confused.
2 :
Interesting - you've got great details in here describing Prince Roger. The one thing I, as a reader, would appreciate is less wordiness--slow it down. You are cramming a lot of important details into one paragraph. As I read through it, this sounds like you are trying to say as much about this world as you can in one breath. Long sentences are not bad, but it is nice to space them out with short ones for emphasis. I like to think of it in comparison to a roller-coaster. You go up and down. If the rails were all at the same height, the coaster would be boring. Similarly--long information-packed sentences followed by long information-packed sentences can bore or overload the reader. Keep the detail, but read it out loud to yourself and don't be afraid to slow it down.
3 :
You'll choke your readers to distraction if you write 'so much' back off a tad, and give little portions instead. Readers aren't fools they will follow where you lead them, if they like your style, just let them use their imagination. You do write well, just a tad over-the-top. Good writing.
4 :
You obviously Love Words and are quite capable of firing off a string of flavorful adjectives, but what you might have missed is the effect your words are having on your reader. If you really want to capture the reader's interest, EDIT and READ over and over and over until you've accomplished the practice of re-writing. In re-writing, remember to consider your READER instead of your love affair with all of these words. From another Word Lover, I understand your plight in omitting those wondrous adjectives, but I've come to understand that even though I'm writing for myself - if I expect anyone else to read my writing with appreciation for what I'm saying, then I must fine tune the words and phrases in a way that will give the reader comprehension of what I'm attempting to portray. If a reader can't understand or empathize with the writer's portrait, then they will walk away unmoved and unable to pick up the piece again with that feeling of zest that should be felt when taking time to read.
5 :
Forget it. It's verbose self-regarding piffle.
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Friday, September 7, 2012
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Athletic Trainer vs. Physical Therapist
Athletic Trainer vs. Physical Therapist?
I'm just wondering, what EXACTLY is the difference between the two? How are both jobs performed? What degrees would I need for either job? How long would I need to attend college? Is it just the standard four years? What are some colleges that offer the two as a major? The only decent college I could find so far was Boston University. (Do any UC schools offer these as majors?) Also, what are the chances of getting on a pro team (ie: Barca, Real Madrid, Milan, etc)? And how do I apply / get an internship in those teams? I'm thinking about double majoring in one of those two and in nursing, then getting a degree in acupuncture. Does this seem like a good idea? Sorry for a bombardment of questions. It's time to apply for colleges, you see. x]
Other - Sports - 1 Answers
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1 :
ATC treat athletic injuries and work on the field. PT treat everything from pediatrics to geriatrics. They treat disease states. PT treat disease in musculoskeletal, neurological, integument, and cardiopulmonary. PT make more money, go to school longer, and work in a variety of settings--hospitals, nursing homes, rehab facilities, schools, homes, outpatient clinics. PT work more regular hours. ATC treat during games--nights and weekends. You can do both. PT is a graduate degree. ATC can be a BS degree www.apta.org www.nata.org
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I'm just wondering, what EXACTLY is the difference between the two? How are both jobs performed? What degrees would I need for either job? How long would I need to attend college? Is it just the standard four years? What are some colleges that offer the two as a major? The only decent college I could find so far was Boston University. (Do any UC schools offer these as majors?) Also, what are the chances of getting on a pro team (ie: Barca, Real Madrid, Milan, etc)? And how do I apply / get an internship in those teams? I'm thinking about double majoring in one of those two and in nursing, then getting a degree in acupuncture. Does this seem like a good idea? Sorry for a bombardment of questions. It's time to apply for colleges, you see. x]
Other - Sports - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
ATC treat athletic injuries and work on the field. PT treat everything from pediatrics to geriatrics. They treat disease states. PT treat disease in musculoskeletal, neurological, integument, and cardiopulmonary. PT make more money, go to school longer, and work in a variety of settings--hospitals, nursing homes, rehab facilities, schools, homes, outpatient clinics. PT work more regular hours. ATC treat during games--nights and weekends. You can do both. PT is a graduate degree. ATC can be a BS degree www.apta.org www.nata.org
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Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Why are my parents so strict
Why are my parents so strict?
At school I met this nice guy from Madrid and he suggested that we hooked up, but when he came over to my house my parents saw him and immediately rushed him out the door. They keep telling me that I can only date white guys but I'm not that narrow minded. How old do parents have to be until you can send them to a nursing home or something, this is totally lame. They don't consider spanish people as white. They only accept northern europeans and if your skin is olive or darker they don't consider that white either. Gus wrong! I don't care if they disown me or anything, as long as I'm happy I don't give two shyts.
Other - Cultures & Groups - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
madrid? these people are considered white by my family white people discriminate spain people? i didnt know that EDIT tell them you think you like black men now and they will reconsider
2 :
Your parents are pretty racist!! But dnt worry they're gonna back off once have grown a little!
3 :
Your parents are enforcing their values on you. They feel you will get hurt. Like many people, they are uncomfortable with different cultures. My parents told me not to marry someone from a different culture, but I did anyway. It's been tough at times, but overall I am glad I did. But until you are financially on your own and out of the house, they get to call the shots for you. You don't have to wait until they are in the nursing home. So it's 18, or 21 if they pay for your college, or even longer if you are a mooch or deadbeat. Your choice. (I was 25 when I got married. Parents could disapprove, but were wise enough to keep it to themselves.)
4 :
Ah the parental skills of white folks. Run an individual away from your daughter CERTAINLY NOT BECAUSE HE'S ABOUT TO HOOK-UP WITH HER AND POSSIBLY TURN HER INTO AN EARLY PREGNANT TEEN but because of his racial/ethnic backgrounds. This is the white community for you.
5 :
They only want what is best for you.. Listen to them, you'll be glad that you did...
6 :
Wow. Your parents are lame. Sorry, but it's true.
7 :
Its your life, and your choice how to live it. You can be a racist tyrant, come off ignorant and annoying. You can also live your life quietly making fun of people and being obsessed with others because of their race, while they don't even know who you are (let alone care). -OR- You can live your life free of those things. And meet alot of people that you've never realized how great they were, because you were focused on their race instead of what truly matters. Choice is yours.
Read more discussion :
At school I met this nice guy from Madrid and he suggested that we hooked up, but when he came over to my house my parents saw him and immediately rushed him out the door. They keep telling me that I can only date white guys but I'm not that narrow minded. How old do parents have to be until you can send them to a nursing home or something, this is totally lame. They don't consider spanish people as white. They only accept northern europeans and if your skin is olive or darker they don't consider that white either. Gus wrong! I don't care if they disown me or anything, as long as I'm happy I don't give two shyts.
Other - Cultures & Groups - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
madrid? these people are considered white by my family white people discriminate spain people? i didnt know that EDIT tell them you think you like black men now and they will reconsider
2 :
Your parents are pretty racist!! But dnt worry they're gonna back off once have grown a little!
3 :
Your parents are enforcing their values on you. They feel you will get hurt. Like many people, they are uncomfortable with different cultures. My parents told me not to marry someone from a different culture, but I did anyway. It's been tough at times, but overall I am glad I did. But until you are financially on your own and out of the house, they get to call the shots for you. You don't have to wait until they are in the nursing home. So it's 18, or 21 if they pay for your college, or even longer if you are a mooch or deadbeat. Your choice. (I was 25 when I got married. Parents could disapprove, but were wise enough to keep it to themselves.)
4 :
Ah the parental skills of white folks. Run an individual away from your daughter CERTAINLY NOT BECAUSE HE'S ABOUT TO HOOK-UP WITH HER AND POSSIBLY TURN HER INTO AN EARLY PREGNANT TEEN but because of his racial/ethnic backgrounds. This is the white community for you.
5 :
They only want what is best for you.. Listen to them, you'll be glad that you did...
6 :
Wow. Your parents are lame. Sorry, but it's true.
7 :
Its your life, and your choice how to live it. You can be a racist tyrant, come off ignorant and annoying. You can also live your life quietly making fun of people and being obsessed with others because of their race, while they don't even know who you are (let alone care). -OR- You can live your life free of those things. And meet alot of people that you've never realized how great they were, because you were focused on their race instead of what truly matters. Choice is yours.
Read more discussion :
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