The elderly in care?
In the UK many people who are elderly and possibly to old or ill to look after themselves go in many cases to care homes or nursing homes. Yet here in Spain it is the duty of the family to look after and care for their elderly loved ones. If the UK adopted the Spanish system would it just be looked on as government cuts, or should families bear that responsibility.
Family - 6 Answers
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1 :
Many families do take care of elderly relatives. Unfortunately with the population so mobile many are too far away or in another country. Also families are smaller & do not have the resources or knowledge to look after sick relatives. We all do the best we can with what we have.
2 :
A lot of cultures care for their elderly - except it seems the English speaking ones. There just isn't the respect or sense of duty regarding older members of family for some reason. Of course if they have dementia it is understandable as they need specialist care and often protection, but same here in New Zealand, as well as Australia, except for the Asians and those first generation immigrants, most people wouldn't dream of caring for the older members of their family.
3 :
If it is your parents, they gave you life- you owe it to them to make sure their last days are filled with love. More than that, you should WANT to do it. I bought a huge house when my mom was fairly young, specifically so she could live with us and never go to a nursing home. Sadly, I lost her to cancer only 3 years after we bought it.
4 :
I would take in my elders. I had sweet relatives that did that for my grandma, but.... when they did that the rest of the family put them down as they were taking advantage of her. Yeah, some people look at things in the wrong way. Well in my family they do. :( I also hear about people saying mean stuff to people that want to help, like "He is only moving into his parents house to mooch or live in their basement" These people I believe that say such things wouldn't take time or effort into helping elderly. Yeah so I believe it would turn into a goverment issue, due to the way some people think. Most would say it's burdensome. But.... there are a few people out there that do what your talking about.
5 :
I do care for my elderly father - however it has cost me a lot, I've had to give up my job, so I have very little income. I worry that if he starts to need help with bathing or toileting, I won't be able to manage it as I have osteoarthritis and can't lift him. It is all very well saying keep them at home but there are all sorts of difficulties particularly if like me you are a single woman struggling to care for a parent on your own.
6 :
Taking care of aging family members is a very hard job. I work in a senior retirement community (not a nursing home) and see what familys go through. It is not like it used to be. People are living longer and their bodys and mind suffer. It is like having a child in the house again ( even down to changing diapers). Often times, after years of caregiving you get to the point where you need to take care of yourself. Caregiving takes it toll on on your family life and your physical being. If your health and family start to suffer then you would not be able to care for your elderly family. Most people do the best they can but sometimes it becomes too much to handle at home. There is no shame in letting them live is a retirement community. They are with people their own age and have common interests. In other words THEY have a life of their own. This makes them feel independant and their families live a better life because mom and dad are being taken care of. This is the time where they can be papmered. We cook their meals, clean their apts. and drive them where ever they need to go. I would not mind living there. More often than not they chose to have hospice come to take care of them when their end is near because they want to be home and with their families, not in a nursing home. Not everyone is able to take care of their folks. If dementia or alzheimers are in the picture, it is even worse because they are wander risks and often can't remember who they are or where they live. This is very dangerous. Putting them in a unit where they are being taken care of properly (which is locked down) does not make you a monster. It is doing the right thing. Their quality of life improves. Unfortunately I have also seen how family members treat their mom and dad. I have 1 resident whose family never comes to see her. I have been wotking there 5 yrs. and have not met any of her family. Do you think letting her stay with family would be better for her? She is better off with us and the friends she has made. Every situation is different and we just have to make the right decision for our family. Don't let other people or cultures influence you.
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